Suggested Travel Metrics for Filipinos

Posted: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 | Posted by Jaba |

In light of hearing my ex-girlfriend's upcoming one-day road-trip to Las Vegas, I’ve put together the following suggestions for my Filipino friends:

1 to 1: The maximum ratio of travel time to and from your destination versus the amount of time you will be staying at your destination. Driving a total of 14 hours to spend 8 hours at your destination is unreasonable.

4 to 1: The maximum number of people you should fit in a hotel room.

2 to 1: The ideal number of people you should fit in a hotel room.

2: The maximum number of families/groups/parties involved in a single trip. Any amount over threatens to cause a cosmic rip in the universe.

$50: The minimum amount you must save on gas from driving to justify not flying. The number is $200 for non-Filipinos.

$75: The minimum amount you should spend on any hotel, in any location, under any circumstance. Free buffet and casino credits count towards the room rate.

2: The maximum number of layovers you should accept on any one-way flight. Flying 12 hours through 3 cities to reach a destination that is only 2 hours via a direct flight just to save a few bucks on your airfare is unacceptable.

40: The maximum number of square miles from your home you can drive to pick up your cousin/aunt/uncle/grandparents/godparents before commencing on to your final destination. The number drops to 4 if you’re driving with a non-Filipino.