Money Can Buy You Happiness (and a Pork Chop)

Posted: Monday, October 05, 2009 | Posted by Jaba |

A Facebook "friend" (in quotes since she's not really a friend...just some hot piece of ass that I got to know) recently posted the following status update:

Money can buy you a house, but not a home. It can buy you insurance, but not security. It can buy you entertainment, but not happiness. It can buy you status, but not respect. It can buy you a bed, but not sleep...

Ahhh...So deep, so profound. Interestingly though, if you look through the photo albums of Ms. Enlightened, you'll find nothing but pictures of her vacationing in exotic locales and boozing it up with bottle service at all the hot clubs. Gee, she must be one very unhappy girl.

Only in a land of rich abundance like America can you have wenches blather on about the evils of having money. It reminds me of a Sociology class I took in college - which by the way, is a whole other there's a complete fucking waste of four years - where the professor was espousing the virtues of vegetarianism. Usually in class, especially in Sociology, I'm half-napping and barely paying any attention to what the professor is saying. However, my ears perked up when he said, " in Indonesia, where in their culture meat is not a major part of their diet."

Huh? Wait, what? I was born in Indonesia. Did he just say Indonesians don't eat meat? I rustled myself up and raised my hand:

"Professor, actually I was born in Indonesia and lived there for a few years. I don't think what you said is true. They do eat meat in Indonesia."

If you want to see a grown man get all in tizzy, just tell a vegan, Sociology professor that he doesn't know shit about what he's talking about. I think he called me some variation of ignorant and referenced all the fancy books he's read to justify his claim. Seeing that there was only 10 minutes left in class, I dropped the matter and went back to napping.

In hindsight, I shouldn't have given up so easily. I should have told him that the only reason native Indonesians eat very little meat is because many of them are poor villagers or fucking servants who work for the Chinese, like moi. And guess what? Being the ahole dickheads we are, we don't give the help much meat. They get whatever leftovers we don't want and they supplement their diets with a helluva lot of rice. And when I say supplement, I don't mean like in a balanced diet kind of way. I mean supplement the gnawing hunger pains in their bellies. Trust me, if you put a pork chop in front of your average Indonesian, he will eat the shit out that pork chop. Only a spoiled, fat fuck living in Westwood can make some silly, ignorant statement like "Indonesians don't eat meat." Hell, he says that in front a bunch of hungry Indonesian and they'll turn his pasty ass into the other white meat.

So here's the deal: if you're broke, unemployed, have no savings, trying to feed 5 kids and a dog, go right ahead and tell yourself money can't buy you happiness. That's probably all that's stopping you from putting a bullet in your head. However, if you're some Persian princess who went to a private school in Luxemburg and whose Daddy is paying for you to live a diva's lifestyle while you pretend to get your degree - in Sociology I'm sure - than please, SHUT THE FUCK UP.


  1. Eurasian Sensation said...
  2. I think your sociology professor was only half bullshitting. I'm an Indo too so I'll give my perspective on it.

    Yes, Indonesians love eating meat. However, the reality is that because most of them are poor, they don't eat much meat at all. Mostly carbs (rice/noodles) extended with some vegies, egg, bean curd and maybe a little meat. This is true of most of SE Asia actually.

    So maybe your professor was speaking in comparison to the Western diet (massive hunks of meat supplemented by a few other things). Most people in Asia traditionally could not afford a meat-centric diet.

    Of course, if Indonesians had money, they'd be eating heaps of meat. They're certainly not into vegetarianism, even though many are practically vegetarian much of the time. When I tell Indonesians I'm vegetarian, I may as well have told them I'm from Mars.

    Dunno about the pork chop thing though. The average Indonesian, being Muslim, is not gonna "eat the shit out of it". Or at least they won't while anyone from the mosque is watching.

  3. Jaba said...
  4. Hey ES, thanks for stopping by and adding your comments.

    Ha, probably bad example about the pork chop since most of the country is Muslim. It could be any meat really...just wanted to point out the arrogance of the sociology prof to state that someone who would probably like to eat meat but cant because of financial constraints, arent doing so because of choice. Funny thing is that the professor was a fat bastard who probably could have used a vegetarian diet lol!

  5. Eurasian Sensation said...
  6. I know what you mean. To give a parallel, it's like those young ugly religious kids who claim that they are choosing a celibate lifestyle, when we all know its irrelevant because they ain't gonna get no ass anyway.