Master of....Days Inn???

Posted: Tuesday, October 06, 2009 | Posted by Jaba |

I woke up this morning and after going through my daily morning ritual of microwaving a low-calorie turkey egg white sandwich and brewing a rich cup of coffee, I log on to Facebook to check out what’s going on with my peeps. I see a friend complaining for the umpteenth time about how hard her life is (yes, we get it, being a veterinarian is hard work), another friend just compared me to a fat skunk (I have wonderful friends), and wait…what do I see…a riveting back and forth on politics. I always love me a heated, uninformed political discussion so I take a closer look.

It all started with my friend declaring on her update that she’s:

“waiting on the world to change”

Innocently pleasant enough. After a few more benign smart-ass comments from a couple of dudes who are obviously just looking for some ass, my friend added:

“LOL, I’m not the one committing rape, murder, theft, bullying, starvation, war, power, bias in the news…shall I go on????”

Hmmm…now them fighting words. And as expected, someone took the bait. That someone happened to be some Asian dude who interestingly enough has a white last name (Shaw???) who replies with:

“this is america . if you don't like it, leave! murder/theft/bullying/war/power/bias is what got you here girlie! if you forgot, ask yo momma”

Wow. I didn’t know my friend got her job as a retail clerk through murder, theft, bullying, war, power, and bias. Remind me never to seek a job at Bloomingdales. But boy, this Mr. Shaw character, he must be one hard motherfucker. War. Power. Murder. This must be a mover and shaker, a master of the universe, a man who commands respect.

My friend responds by calling Mr. Shaw ignorant, that we need change, that he should read Obama’s book. Incensed, Oriental Shaw replies:

“you want change? you got it! tax hikes and hand outs. keep em comin! don't call other peoples political views ignorant. not everyone wakes up feelin like an obama every day.”

So not only is Yellow Shaw a man of great importance, he must also carry with him a mighty big wallet. A man who is hurt by tax hikes must be making more than a quarter million a year. And of course a man who already pays tons in taxes should be incensed about giving hand-outs to the poor, the uninsured, and those who have failed to pull themselves up by their boot straps.

Now I’m starting to become intrigued by Kenghis Shaw. Who is this man? Perhaps he is someone I should get to know better. In fact, maybe I should add him as my Facebook friend. Surely he could help me with my career or at the very least provide with guidance on how I too, can be a great, powerful, rich Asian man. I click on his profile. I click on his info. I scroll down.

High School: Morse Senior High

Employer: Days Inn Harbor Hotel

Position: Front Desk Clerk

Time Period: December 2005 to present

What the motherfucking fuck??? I felt more let down than a Clippers fan after being promised the next Shaq only to find out that they drafted Michael Olowokandi. It turns out that General Tso Shaw, the great proselytizer of power, guardian of tax payers, is a godamn high school grad, front desk clerk at the freaking local Days Inn!!! Who are you bullying…the illegal maids? What power are you wielding…the ability to upgrade me from the garden view room? And how much in taxes could you possibly be paying at 12 bucks an hour???

It took a great deal of restraint for me not to chime in mock this piece of shit. But I had to go to work so I can pay my high taxes which is undoubtedly being handed to his poverty-line riding ass.