Twitter Doctrine

Posted: Wednesday, September 23, 2009 | Posted by Jaba |

I sincerely believe that nothing is a bigger drain on our economy than meetings. Whether they're face-to-face meetings, telecons, videocons, WebEx meetings...whatever, they're typically just a big fucking waste of time for monkeys to blather on and on about nonsense. No one is really listening and half the participants are fucking around on their Blackberry's. The worst is when the meeting organizer insists on summarizing what was just discussed at the meeting. Hey asshole, we were there. You don't need to give us a replay.

Being one who is always looking to make my workplace more efficient, I recently sent my boss the following email:

I think we should implement the Twitter Doctrine in M&A: No email, whether in-bound or out-bound can be more than 140 characters long and no meeting and/or telecon will go past 140 seconds. Ed – Will you support?

The following was his response:

This is a fine idea. Well thought out and will inject some needed efficiency into our processes. People are our assets and looking at this makes me view you as a real ass {Error:EOM: 140 character limit reached}