Either I'm getting old or my friends suck

I'm off to Las Vegas tomorrow for a business meeting. Since I'm a die hard Vegas fan, I was hoping to turn the trip into a fun weekend. Should be an easy thing for a 28 year-old single guy, right? Wrong!!!! Not if you have suck ass guy friends like mind. I couldn't get even one of those fuckers to take Friday off and debaucherize in Vegas. I heard every fucking reason under the sun:

Schooley: Broke as a joke and decided to move to godam North Carolina.
Tandori: Busy glob-trotting and planning his next terrorist attack.
DrewDilly: Work.
BuckNasty: School.
Sanchez: Son's Little League practice. Wife would kill him.
Cage: Wife would kill him.
Speedy: He's a best man at a wedding.
RC: Wife would kill him.
KG: Wife would kill him.

What a bunch of assholes. And fuck marriage. Stupid bitches won't let their husbands go to Vegas. What a bunch of horse shit. Back in college and when I first started work, I use to go to Vegas 2 to 3 times a year. Now, I'm lucky to go once a year. Fuck me.

I need a new set of guy friends. Guys who aren't married, make more than minimum wage, big eaters, cigar smokers, like to go to Vegas...basically non-girlie pussy men.

Fuck I'm pissed.