How can Neocons live outside their environment?

Posted: Thursday, May 19, 2005 | Posted by Jaba |

As I was staring out my office window office, looking at the beautiful Southern California summer day, I realized that I could never live in a Neocon state. While I know there are some nice folks and some good food in deep red country, the prospect of living in a "conservative" state sends shivers down my spine.

I love the diversity of places like Los Angeles and New York. I love the fact that I have options for lunch and dinner other than McDonalds and TGI Fridays. I love walking through the mall or entering a restaurant and not getting funny stares. I love the fact that there is a Hustler store on a busy street where couples can go shopping. I love the fact that religion isn't shoved down my face every where I turn. I love the fact that my gay friend can walk down the street without fearing the good 'ol boys in their pickups. I love the fact that kids learn math and science and go on to become doctors, lawyers, engineers, bankers instead of learning to recite gospel and how to fill out application forms at the local Wal Mart. I love the fact that my Republican governor is an immigrant and would be considered a lefty communist in most red states. I love the fact that our women eat sushi, drink smoothies, do yoga and stay fine like sunshine instead of eating at Burger King, drinking malt liquor, doing their brothers and looking like Roseanne. I love the fact that the porn capital of the world is in my state.

But what I don't understand is, how can a right-wing nut live in a place like California or New York? Won't all the things I mentioned above wilt a neocon like kryptonite on Superman? If they hate all the "liberals" in the coast states, why do they stay there? There's plenty of land in Iowa, Oklahoma (home of my boy Joe Seals), and Alabama. And the homes there are cheap too (I guess views of Wal Mart parking lots aren't as valuable as the view of the ocean or coastal mountains).

Now I'm not asking neocons to leave. That would be...well...neoconish. I just wish those living in blue states would stop being so pissy and whiny. Otherwise, there are plenty of red states that could use your tax dollars.


  1. Snave said...
  2. They can't be living outside their environment or anywhere else, because spiritually and politically they are the walking dead... heh...!

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  3. lefty said...
  4. i got your request for an update at a la gauche. it's done. hope you enjoy. i plugged your site, too. ;)

  5. Bee said...
  6. I live in a red state. I've got roughly 16 churches within 3 miles of my house (no, I'm not exaggerating), with roughly 4 more going up as we speak. We have very little good food, but we do have a killer bbq shack. Art? not much, but we do have a little, which is better than none, and at least the museum workers haven't covered up the nudes yet.

    So, I see the "W" stickers on the Lexus SUV's, and I really want to put my beat up old pickup truck right up their tailpipes. Instead, I blog - it's therapy. Some of us liberals in redland are engaging in some form of therapy. Yeah, some go for real woo woo, like prozac. I prefer the internet variety.

    On the other hand, housing is still relatively affordable, and we've got nice lawns with all the rain in the last couple of years.