I wish our electoral system worked like air travel

Posted: Monday, March 07, 2005 | Posted by Jaba |

I travel a decent amount for my work and I earn enough miles that I can usually upgrade to business class or first class every other flight. I requested an upgrade on my recent flight to New York and was granted one rather easily. As I boarded my flight in Los Angeles, I realized why it was so easy to get the upgrade. Half the plane was either business class or first class and the remaining economy class was what United calls "Premier" seats. Basically, these are seats with a lot more legroom. The service was awesome. The seats recline almost completely horizontally. I got a DVD player. Great food. Excellent drinks. And enough legroom even for Shaq. Basically it was the most pimp flight I've ever been on. I asked the hostess why this flight was so different from any other flight I've flown. Apparently, United offers a special set of flights they call Personal Service (P.S.). You can only get these flights from Los Angeles, New York, and San Francisco. That's right, the best domestic flights you'll find in America fly out of the heart of liberal, blue America. You won't find a P.S. flight flying from Little Rock to Columbus, or flying out of any square inch of Mizzoura. United knows where the bling is. It's in the same cities and states that generate the most GDP, pay most of the taxes, and generally keep this country from sliding into the godam 19th century.

So how does this link to our voting system? We should change our voting system so that electoral votes are assigned based on % GDP or taxable income. In a capitalist, market-driven country, this should be the only fair way. If you're a minimum-wage earning gay-hater in one of these red states and barely paying any taxes, then your conservative, right-wing vote should only be worth a fraction of my 36% marginal tax rate paying, economy contributing, liberal mother-fucking vote. You pay, you play. Otherwise, stay home, bang your sister, and shut the fuck up about morals.

4 comments:

  1. volterwd said...
  2. Thats funny as hell... and would be fun to watch... its unfortunate america is so divided... it seems americans hate americans more than americans hate anyone else

  3. Raven the Pagan said...
  4. I think you might be on to something here dude. If your an unemployed product of lets say father/brother, and mother/sister relationship. The family car is sitting on cinderblocks in the front yard, and you enjoy eating mayonnaise sandwhiches. Then no your vote shouldn't count as much as a hard working normal everyday Joe. People who sign thier name with X. Shouldn't be allowed to decide who the leader of the free world is.

  5. Pupsicle said...
  6. Hello,
    Isn't it true that while on this pimp ass flight, you happened to see "Napoleon Dynamite"? If this is true, could you please share your thoughts on the movie? (I'm sure you'll have something interesting to say).

    Thanks.

  7. debate08 said...
  8. Man, I don't agree with you, but you're a funny ass writer.

    See my problem is that your %GDP plan doesn't account for pure hard work ... in those red states are the workers of this country who also "keep this country from sliding into the 19th century".

    They're not rich and therefore don't pay as much in taxes, but they serve as the engine that keeps our country going, they're the work horses - just because you don't relate to them, doesn't mean they're politically ignorant or deserve any less than you.

    But, having said that, it's still damn funny.

    jts