I need a wife

Posted: Thursday, March 24, 2005 | Posted by Jaba |

After the 3rd consecutive day of diarrhea from bad fast food, my ahole is as raw as Paris Hilton's poonani. I'm considering using some aloe vera on you know where, but I fear that I might like the feeling. Seriously, I'm in pain.

Going back to the wife thing, I need to find an old school girl that knows how to cook. I'm not being sexist. I don't give a shit if she wants to have a career, not have a baby, vote, whatever, I just need a girl that can make me some fried chicken or steak without giving me samonella.

Maybe I'll give those mail-order brides a try: Will trade U.S. citizenship and monthly allowance for wife who can cook.


  1. Greg said...
  2. Hell who needs a wife when you got a microwave and a grocery store. LOL Wish you luck on finding a woman who can cook. I have it easy I am trained chef. So I do all the cooking.


  3. Geekbird said...
  4. I think Paris heals her raw poonani with man jizm...not that I'm suggesting you try that for your crap chute.

  5. Raven the Pagan said...
  6. LMFAO Good luck on finding a wife dude. You should try buying a russian ho dude. Form what I've heard they cook great and fu** like rabbits!

  7. sal said...
  8. hi. i came through raven's blog. Ahhh... i like your blog!! shall link it to mine!

    keep it going!

  9. ticklebug said...
  10. A Japanese girl would be good too. And I hear they too fuck like rabbits - anything and everything.

  11. Raven the Pagan said...
  12. Hey dude you might want to start here.
    Good Luck LOL

  13. Elephant Hunter said...
  14. Sweet Raven! I ordered a 19 year old named Juliyia. If she can't cook, I'm sending her ass back to mother russia.